| Julie 的个人资料mystique照片日志列表 |  工具  帮助 |
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2月3日 NegativeI've been noticing myself getting more and more negative over the past few weeks. Not pessimistic, but negative. I'm angry a lot. Annoyed a lot. The slightest thing gets me these days. What happened to calm, peaceful serene Julie?
I think it may have something to do with the whole money situation. For anyone who doesn't know, I quit my job on the 12th of January and am hoping to start school on Monday (pending student aid approval). The man i worked for has been refusing to or making excuses for more time to pay me. It' sbeen over a month now. He's tried to scam me out of $500.00 by trying to get me to deposit and withdrawn a faulty cheque from my bank account. I've already called Labour Relations and the head office of the company is helping me too. Looks like the police are involved now too.
So maybe that's why I'm so angry. It's this huge injustice that's been put on my shoulders that has left me broke and uncertain as to where to go next. Maybe I need to write it out, maybe i need to run, who knows, I need to get this out of me somehow or I'm going to destroy some of the best relationships I have!! 1月27日 Quizzy ThingStole this from Jenn's blog, thought it was oh so cute! =)
TEN random things about me:
10. I just got out of bed. (it's 1130) 9. I worked out last night so hard that I was a little off balance and fell down and hurt my hand!!!
8. I have an addiction to Desperate Housewives 7. i have just started doing yoga 6. watched the pilot of episode of LOST last night and was so scared I actually screamed 5. i eat Vector for breakfast
4. I had an interview with The Shoe Company yesterday
3. Im going back to school in February.. hopefully
2. I know my dog so well that smoetimes I forget that she's a dog
1. i am hungry
NINE ways to win my heart: 9. be funny 8. be intelligent 7. be able to melt me with intense eyes and a small smile 6. bring me chocolate
5. do stuff with me, take me for walks, to museums etc 4. be supportive 3. be comfortalbe just hanging out in pajamas, lying around and drinking wine 2. maybe it's not for you, but, at least, appreciate Sex and the City 1. don't swear on my puppy ( ihate that.. and if anyone's wondering, Steve is exempt from this rule cause owners are allowed to swear on their puppies,. LOL)
EIGHT of my favorite movies:
8.A Lot like love 7. Elizabethtown
6. 50 first days 5. How to lose a guy in 10 days 4. About a boy 3. Love Actually 2. Where the Heart is 1. 10 things i hate about you SEVEN things that annoy me: 7. my puppy, in the mornings 6. being cold
5. steve with his taking up the bed the whole night 4. when people can't handle my dog.. i know she's annoying, but the more you swear on her, the less Im gonna do about it... (if you're wondering jo, I'm not talking about you... ;) )
3. doing dishes
2. blowing snow 1. when carrie gets into the garbage can! SIX things I wanna do before I die:
6. travel 5. get married
4. adopt a kid or kids 3. get a car 2. find that wonderful job i've been searching for
1. find continued happiness FIVE things I am afraid of: 5. pain 4. losing someone I love 3. earwigs 2. plane crashes! (hence my episode with LOST last night)
1. loosing carrie or steve
FOUR of my favorite items in my room: 4. my laptop 3. the picture frame that steve bought that shows pictures of all of us in black and white
2. My straightener
1. my books and magazines THREE things I do everyday: 3. eat breakfast 2. check my email 1. kiss steve TWO things I want to do right now: 2. eat breakfast 1. watch desperate housewives ONE thing you just want 1. my paycheck!!!!!! 1月23日 Record KeepingOkay, so for the next little while, especially the next 2 weeks while I am in transition from job to school and I have nothing to do with my time I'll probably be spending a lot of time on my blog. In doing this I will start records to see how many hits I get a day, during an hour, over the week etc.
I will post any record breaking results on here. Basically this is only for my own curiosity so I really don't expect anyone other than myself to be interested. Don't worry friends of mine, this blog will most likely turn back into a regular journal / blog when I get back in school and do not have countless hours to spend doing it up..
Anyways, there is one rule to this:
you cannot deliberately hit my site over and over and over and over again.. (randy... LOL) ... j/k..
So, it's now 48 minutes into Jan 23rd. Here are the results at this moment:
Total page views: 7740 Page views today: 5
Page views this week: 140 Page views within the last hour: 9 let's see what happens 1月22日 Blog Shares1月20日 This is nice
Someone will always be prettier. They will always be smarter. Their house will be bigger. They will drive a better car. Their children will do better in school. And their husband will fix more things around the house. So let it go, and love you and your circumstances. Think about it. The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart. And the most highly favored Woman on your job may be unable to have children. And the richest woman you know, she's got the car, ! the house, the clothes....might be lonely. And the word says if "I have not Love, I am nothing." So, again, love you. Love who you are. Look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say "I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed!" "Winners make things happen. Losers let things happen." Be Blessed ladies and pass this on to encourage another woman. "To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world".
Things Nott To Say During Sex!!!!
I can't help but be scared of it all sometimesI can't sleep again. I'm up worrying about stuff. How uncharacteristically me.
Today's the day. I'm still waiting on my cheque from my previous job. I'm worried that he's not going to have it ready. I'm worried he'll put it off until monday or later, I'm worried he'll only give me a partial amount. Yes, I can go to Labour Relations, but I really need the money. I'll survive without it, of course, pending on donations from others, but I don't want that to happen. Please let me just get it in my hands today. It's bad enough that for the entire month of January and half of February I'll be living on about $700.00 total.
Hard times.
Then I guess there are people going through harder times than this. Financially I mean. And I stay up nights worrying about this and I think "Why do you feel so miserable? There are people out there who have it a HELL of a lot worse off than you" And I know that's true. And I know I'm going to be okay.
School starts February 6. I'm waiting for my student loan to be approved and then I'm ready to get back into school, get it done, get a sensible job. I may never be rich but there are other things than money. I have SO much to be grateful for. Why do I worry about money when I KNOW I'm going to be ok. I have a great family, I have great friends, I have the best man in the world, I'm convinced, the cutest puppy to cuddle. A nice apartment and so. much. more. Why am I down about money? I should be rejoicing. =)
Maybe I will rejoice. Maybe I should run in the room and jump on steve and scream! "Hey! I am rejoicing". I don't think he'd be impressed. Oh well, another time . 1月18日 they said, I'll bet, they'll never make itFifty ways to love your partner 1. Love yourself first. 2. Start each day with a hug. 3. Serve breakfast in bed. 4. Say "I love you" everytime you part ways. 5. Compliment freely and often. 6. Appreciate---and celebrate---your differences. 7. Live each day as if it's your last. 8. Write unexpected love letters. 9. Plant a seed together and nurture it to maturity. 10. Go on a date once every week. 11. Send flowers for no reason. 12. Accept and love each others' family and friends. 13. Make little signs that say "I love you" and post them all over the house. 14. Stop and smell the roses. 15. Kiss unexpectedly. 16. Seek out beautiful sunsets together. 17. Apologize sincerely. 18. Be forgiving. 19. Remember the day you fell in love---and recreate it. 20. Hold hands. 21. Say "I love you" with your eyes. 22. Let her cry in your arms. 23. Tell him you understand. 24. Drink toasts of love and commitment. 25. Do something arousing. 26. Let her give you directions when you're lost. 27. Laugh at his jokes. 28. Appreciate her inner beauty. 29. Do the other person's chores for a day. 30. Encourage wonderful dreams. 31. Commit a public display of affection. 32. Give loving massages with no strings attached. 33. Start a love journal and record your special moments. 34. Calm each others' fears. 35. Walk barefoot on the beach together. 36. Ask her to marry you again. 37. Say yes. 38. Respect each other. 39. Be your partner's biggest fan. 40. Give the love your partner wants to receive. 41. Give the love you want to receive. 42. Show interest in the other's work. 43. Work on a project together. 44. Build a fort with blankets. 45. Swing as high as you can on a swingest by moonlight. 46. Have a picnic indoors on a rainy day. 47. Never go to bed mad. 48. Put your partner first in your prayers. 49. Kiss each other goodnight. 50. Sleep like spoons. "You said always and forever, now I beleive you baby"Okay, new game. As my header will be lyrics to a song. If you know that song, let me know. It's very important to remember however that besides for my unending adoration, there are no prizes, so don't expect any. Alright? alright.
So, today I watched The Perfect Man. Most people would scoff. I often do at myself. I generally enjoy these kinds of 'make-me-happy' movies, because, well, they make me happy. Sitting on the edge of my seat in uncomfortable. and I need to make my life as stress-free as possible. INCLUDING being upset over movies. I'm a very sensitive person you know!
Anyways the movie was pretty good. Hilary Duff 's character is an unbelievably stupid person and if she did that to me I'd so never forgive her. Seeing Big again though, that was great. Nice trip down memory lane. Anyways, again, it was predictable and that's what I love, love, love. If you like easy-going feel good movies, here's one for you.
MMMMM... BIG.. or whatever his name is
1月17日 Movies and more (actually just a movie)So today I watched Herbie.
It was alright. i kept wanting to cry for poor Herbie. kudos for making me want to cry over a damn car. An ugly one at that... see, now i feel bad. sorry Herbie.
Lindsey Lohan looked pretty hot for a children's movie. Yeah, a skirt that barely covers her ass, always great for pre-pubesent kids. Then again, their 20 year old intern teacher probably isn't wearing much else.
Anyways Herbie was aight. Other than the obvious plotlines (here they will argue, here they will win, here they will kiss, here they will bring up the dead mother), which is right up my alley, the movies was aight.
YIKES LINDSEY, WATCH OUT, HERBIE"S GONNA COP A FEEL A DAT ASS!
1月14日 True Love True Love Lucky you! You guys have a very mature and down-to-earth view of love. You've been through a lot together, so you realize that it isn't all a bed of roses. You are very comfortable around each other and confide in each other about almost everything. You can't imagine life without one another and are committed to seeing this through. Go you! What Kind of Love are You in? (Beautiful Romantic Pics!) brought to you by Quizilla
Your soul wants peace. You feel sorrow for those around you who feel pain. So you help them to help yourself. Good for you! 1月11日 UnknownOh my. It looks as though I wil be leaving my job. It seemed too good to be true and of course it was. It was a job with the perfect hours, perfect location and perfect work. I loved it. But my boss, he is unbearable. He is abusive. Calling us idiots and swearing, ranting over everything we do wrong. Today he practically threw a stack of papers at me and blamed me for his problems. It's my first day putting up ads and he bitched me out cause I was asked for help: "Julie, that's YOUR job.. I have my own work to do. That's what I hired you for. Don't come to me with those problems." Today he brought everyone in his office and bitched them out individually and it made me sick to my stomach, my heart was pounding, I could hear him yelling in there and stomping his feet and it was an awful feelings. Later that day, those employees walked out for good. Anyways, even though I don't have another job, I don't want to have to handle another day like that. I want to talk to my father, my mentor, tonight and I will follow his advice. I took all my belongings from my desk before I left. I even took my fellow employees phone numbers and the phone and fax number to my bosses boss. I want to let him know what he is investing his money in and why his business has not gotten off the ground. This is something that needs to be reported.
Anyways I'm in a bit of a panic I guess. Change always does that to me. I'm trying to stay calm. To tell myself that everything is going to be ok, which I know it will. When I took this job I knew I was taking a chance. There's an office admin course starting at the end of February, unless I find another job I love, I hope I'll be on the class list. Anyways, that's that know.
Oh, the unknown, so scary. At Onebe at one with the world
and hence, with all it contains where is the misery, where is the worry, where is the dual now?
where is the stress, where is the argument, where are the frowns? succumb yourself to the world
and hence, with all it contains now. you see
the beauty in the storm the desperation in the nasty the innocence in a teenager the futility of worry and so. much. more. Hate the world and it will hate you back
Love the world and it will love you too 1月9日 I want to laugh moreOH I WANT TO GO THIS WAY!
Don't laugh too much, it can kill you Fatal hilarity is death as a result of laughter. In the third century B.C. the Greek philosopher Chrysippus died of laughter after seeing a donkey eating figs (hey, it wasn't THAT funny). On 24 March 1975 Alex Mitchell, a 50-year-old bricklayer from King's Lynn, England, literally died laughing while watching an episode of The Goodies. According to his wife, who was a witness, Mitchell was unable to stop laughing whilst watching a sketch in the episode "Kung Fu Kapers" in which Tim Brooke-Taylor, dressed as a kilted Scotsman, used a set of bagpipes to defend himself from a psychopathic black pudding in a demonstration of the Scottish martial art of "Hoots-Toot-ochaye". After twenty-five minutes of continuous laughter Mitchell finally slumped on the sofa and expired from heart failure. His widow later sent the Goodies a letter thanking them for making Mitchell's final moments so pleasant.
1月5日 ...I...
1月3日 oh humankind
Today has been alright. I feel myself falling back into the natural flow of life though. This is not a good thing. By the natural flow of life I mean getting caught up in deadlines and office work and gossip etc. Not feeling, no zen, nothing of what I want. I find that it takes just a few days of this natural flow before I fully forget about the way i really want to be. Anyways, work is great. I'm really enjoying it. Now that the office is starting to fill up i'm making new friends and we're just sitting around having a good laugh. We got a good bunch.
Well, Steve's sister Sheena has been here for a couple of days, it's nice having his family here. In the mornings it's just me and her and at night when steve goes to bed as well. Just hanging out here I'm getting to know her - I like it... it's great!
i'm just a f*cked up girl looking for her own peace of mindA friend of mine says that 2006 will be her year to focus on herself. I applaud her. I think that we should all take care of ourselves a little more.
Take care of mind and body.
Light candes,
Slow down,
Smile
Spend tme with friends
Love, and by that I don't mean in just words, but ReALLY love someone.. Feel it whether they're with you or not.. and don't be ashamed to express your love
Create good karma
Do what's right
Be generous and kind
Even if you're not in the mood to do a favour for someone, do it to be nice.
Sleep more
Relax
Read
Be in the moment
Appreciate nature - in all it's forms
See the good in people
Be optimistic
And this is just a sample 1月1日 I''ll never leave you behind, or treat you unkind...How does it feel to know you'll never have to be alone, when you get home...
No one gives Maroon 5 enough credit....
So I hurt my ankle last night. Kristin says that I should sue the apartment building for falling on their property. I think that they are not libel for the fact that I was a) drunk b) running and c) wearing 4 inch heels. Besides, it's not like I had to go to the emergency room or anyhting, I got up and went to a party. This morning however, this morning I feel it. Ouch. I'm sure it's something that will heal itself in a couple of days... but still... ouch.
I'm still on my new years resolution kick. I expect it will wear off soon, although I hope not. My focus is to take better care of myself. Mentally - which means more writing on this thing and in my journal, yoga, exercise, zen, taking it slow and postivitiy.
Also, Physically - eating right (not off to a great start there already) and exercising.
Anyways, this whole zen thing leads to a lot of slow thourough thinking. Today I was thinking about over christmas when I was home talking to a friend of mine. She was teling me the story about how she had to put her dog down and it was so sad, she told me how she held him in her arms and before she knew it he was gone. I started to tear up but I blinked it back.
WHY?
Why do people hide negative emotions so much. Why hide tears and blink them back when there are others around. What is so shamful about having emotions. It's bad enough that men are engineered from birch to never show emotion. Women are supposed to be emotional, yet, we're still holding back.
Today is the greatest day I've ever knownIt's the new year. What a great night. What a wonderful start to
a brand new year. If how I feel now is any indication of how I will feel for the majority of the rest of the year then I am looking forward to the future. I feel calm, no stress for once. Not worried about finances, not worried about much. This is great.
Today is the greatest 12月31日 what day is this?What a great day.
Work was kind of stupid, but what else is new.
I have to accept some facts at the office. 1. I may never be able to fully gain my bosses constant approval because there will always be mistakes. and 2. there is only so much I can or want to do.
I think i may have realized today what had been bothering me so much when I was working at convergys, and simultaneously saw what might be something that would satisfy me in the long run. And it's so simple.
There are many aspects to life. There's a professional side, which takes up, in most cases, more than half. Then there is the family life, and the social life. I want to feel satiated in all aspects of my life. I don't want a career that going to cause me immeasurable stress and time. I want something thats satisfies me while I'm there but allows me enough breathing space to live a regular life and enjoy my family, and friends as well. So that's what I'll go for.
and everytime i look into my puppy's deep brown eyes i'll know that if I'd done what my boss had wanted me to do i would never have had the time to enjoy moments like these. 12月29日 New Year, new beginnningYeah I know, we all do it. Make resolutions we'll never keep. It will probably happen again, but the fact that there are some things i'd like to improve about me and my life is a start.
So me and Joanne were out driving around tonight and talking about resolutions and things we want to change.
I want to be more positive.
I want to put more positive out there and in return take more positive in.
i want to give people compliments and smile, and take care of myself.
Go to the gym more often, write in my journal and blog more often. I want to do yoga and cuddle my puppy more. I want to learn to relax and worry less about the things that are less important : how spotless (or rather, how unspotless) my appartment is, how my finances are going (in emergencies, there is always back up). etc etc etc
I AM a very spiritual person and I do want to increase my spirituality.
I am a pantheist. I believe in human life, in the world outside, in nature, the sun and the moon and the cyclical tendencies of pretty much everything in existence.
Anyways, this is irrelevant. I just want to create balance in my life, with my surroundings, to create mental and physical health.
THAT is my New Years Resolution 12月27日 Things you'd never say to a copNEVER SAY TO A COP
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas) 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! 5. Are You Andy or Barney? 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer. 7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 8. I pay your salary! 9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too! 10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are. 12月14日 The google image search quizthe "google image search" quiz ...
THIS IS VERY COOL. GOT IT FROM MY FRIEND'S WEBSITE
CHECK IT OUT!
1. The age I will be on my next birthday:
2. My mother's middle name:
3. My favourite colour:
4. The last place I went on vacation:
5. A bad habit on mine:
6. My favourite fruit or vegetable:
7. My favourite animal:
8. The name of my last/current pet:
9. The last song I listened to:
10. Band who performs said song:
11. My boyfriend's name:
12月13日 Good Morning!
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT CHRISTMAS IS NEARLY HERE FOR ANOTHER YEAR!
12月12日 smile!
AND IF THAT WASN"T ENOUGH FOR YA:
Sometimes you just gotta remember the small things:
Natural Highs 7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
12月5日 It has occured to me...Last night I felt another stab of hopelessness.
See, to understand this, you must realize that my entire life is full of dream. I pushed my way through secondary and post secondary school with a dream that one day I won't have money problems, I will be happy, and content and my life will be just so, but I'd have to work for it.
Last night I felt another stab of hopelessness.
I felt that this would never come to me in the way I always wanted it to be. Christ, it's so easy to fail. It's like a lottery.
I realized that maybe I need these dreams just to keep me going, to keep me smiling and dreaming. I will always need a future. But isn't that just delaying the problem? Yeah, i can always dream, but I always won't have this long, year-to-come future ahead of me.
A quote from my bible occurs to me: (if are you wondering: Sex and the City - shut up, I really am that shallow) "Stop expecting it to look like what you thought it would look like." Makes sense.
Last night i felt another stab of hopelessness and I thought to myself, you know what? I'm already halfway to the dreams I had when I was younger. I have my stable, loving relationship, I have my little pet, I live in an apartment building (i always wanted that) and a sensible, well-paying job (even if it's not what I love)
The problem is me. The problem is I keep wanting more. What's the only thing missing here? Money. But I have to face the facts: I'm broke. And I'm gonna be broke for awhile - school does that to yah.
I may not have everything I want right now. But i'm not doing too badly Other things will just have to wait. |
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